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Dantzel Cherry has recently sold short stories to InterGalactic Medicine Show, Cast of Wonders, and the Little Green Men--Attack! anthology from Baen Books. This is her fourth appearance in Galaxy’s Edge.

LESLIE'S LOVE POTION #4
by
Dantzel Cherry

www.witchesbrew.com
Leslie's Love Potion #4
*** ½ stars, 19 reviews

Warning: Please, for the safety of yourself as the brewer and the intended love interest, follow the recipe exactly. Do NOT make substitutions. Do NOT double the recipe.

Ingredients:

   1 tsp hemp seed oil
   4 fresh jasmine flowers, harvested under a full moon, chopped
   1 unholy dandelion, crushed
   1 cinnamon stick
   4 cups of fresh water
   1 love letter, written in iambic pentameter
   2 fig leaves, purloined
   2 hairs – one from the giver of the drink, one from the intended recipient
   1 small vial of virgin's tears

   (optional) Chef Cheri's Crazy Creole seasoning, to taste

Instructions:

Start fire and set cauldron. While the flames are growing, warm oil and sauté jasmine and dandelion until fragrant. Combine the rest of the ingredients and, while loudly banging an extra ladle on the side of the cauldron with one hand, stir 13 times counterclockwise, then 13 times clockwise. Do not stop banging until you have finished stirring.

Cover and allow the concoction to simmer on low heat for 6 hours or until the love letter has completely dissolved, while occasionally stirring and whispering sweet nothings.

When the letter has dissolved, remove from heat and pour through strainer and into flask. Serve warm or chilled, to taste.

Yield: one serving

Reviews:

* WORST POTION EVER! I used dried jasmine, and a microwave in place of the cauldron, and my boyfriend couldn’t stand the taste! I wish I could give this no stars. So disappointed. ~VictoriaVictorious

*** He was into me, alright, but the smell of it took away any desire I had for love. This recipe must be calculated for someone else's pheromones. ~Val27

***** Worked on me! My wife and I want to thank Leslie for five years of a piping hot marriage. ~Mike

***** Best. Love. Potion. Ever. Most love potions only call for a hair from the intended recipient, but my own hair and the Creole seasoning really make this potion stand out! A huge hit at my party last night. Definitely recommend pairing this with Angelina's Forgetful Potion. ~fratboi22

**** @fratboi22 - Dude… no. Don’t be that guy. Just no.

As for my actual review, well, this is exactly like the potion my granny used to brew. True love requires high quality ingredients, folks, so follow the directions. Also, for the reviewer talking about the smell, you must not have added your own hair like the recipe called for. Your bad. ~Dravik

** Two stars for Leslie, because she left me for Cadrion Ambrosius. And that's not even his real name, it's Bryan. BRYAN. What kind of warlock name is that? ~DeclanTheMighty

* Enforcement here. @fratboi22 won’t be posting any reviews for a few years, folks. A strong reminder: International Witch Code #24532 states that it is ILLEGAL to sell the same customer a Love Potion and a Forgetful Potion, or to be in possession of both! ~SomeCallMeTim

**** Best love potion my girlfriend and I have tried yet. We’ve finally stopped arguing about the drapes in the front room! Hardest part was finding the unholy dandelion for a decent price. Thanks Leslie! ~PotioneerPat

** @Dravik – I don’t need your advice, thanks. ~Val27

**** I was nervous about trying this, but I was feeling adventurous that day, so I gave it a shot! Worked great, but next time I'll hold the creole seasoning.

Also, I know that this tip will only work for the lucky (unlucky? IDK) potioneers, but if you're a virgin yourself, it's cheaper and less awkward to stock up on your own virgin tears before making your first love potion. They DO have a decent shelf-life of eight months, so you can give this “love” thing a solid chance. ~Elphie

***** I'm surprised this recipe doesn't have more rave reviews. Probably because of over-reactionary witches like @Val27. Adding another star to my review to counter her review. ~Dravik

* This is the first recipe I've made that I've had such a negative result from. I think I can give a fair rating. ~Val27

***** @Val27 – I don't want to be rude, but this is a perfect recipe, and if it fails for you, that's your fault. A few tips about love potions, straight from my Granny Lelah:

·This recipe is only truly effective if your intended love is already somewhat attracted to you. This is a love potion, not a miracle potion.

· As stated, only stir 13 times clockwise and 13 times counterclockwise. Also, banging the ladle on the cauldron is critical.

· Write your love letter in pen – not pencil. Lead poisoning? No thanks.

· FOLLOW THE RECIPE and include your own hair next time. ~Dravik

* It was a love potion, alright, but I was looking for a One Night Stand Love Potion, and this was too sweet for my tastes. Perhaps my sweet nothings shouldn't have included a promise to call the next morning. ~Antonio

* @Dravik – You're all about banging on that ladle, aren't you? ~Val27

*** Is it just me, or is no good way to measure virgin's tears? I mean, do you fill the vial up to the top, or…? Anyway, I had fair to middling success with this potion. This is not for beginners. I'll make it again, but I need to practice my sweet nothings before giving this another attempt. ~PhaedraLee

***** @Val27 – For good reason. Come over to my place sometime, and give it a try. I would totally cook a meal with you. ~Dravik

***** I made some pretty serious modifications to this recipes and it still turned out great. FWIW, I've found that virgin's tears are easier to collect and more potent at events like Comic Con. Five stars for sure! ~Selina

***** I'm sure everyone has their own favorite to-go love potion, but after a little practice, we've found that this really is the most effective LOVE potion recipe you can find when you're hoping for that true love's kiss. ~Val27&DravikForever

Copyright © 2016 by Dantzel Cherry

 

THE LONG TOMORROW
by Leigh Bracket

One of the "10 Books You Pretend to Read (And Why You Should Really Read Them)io9

TABLE OF CONTENTS

HOME

The Editor's Word

FICTION
The Vampire's New Clothes
by Martin L. Shoemaker

Penguins of Noah's Ark

by Larry Hodges
At the Mouth of the River of Bees
by Kij Johnson
The World That You Want
by Laurie Tom
Capricorn Games
by Robert Silverberg

Pure Beauty and the Beast

by Mike Resnick

Patent Infringement
by Nancy Kress
Leslie's Love Potion #4
,
by Dantzel Cherry
The Devil Walks Into a Bar
.
by Steve Pantazis

The Professional

by Nathan Dodge
Starlady

by George R. R. Martin

INTERVIEW
Robert J. Sawyer

by Joy Ward

SERIALIZATION
The Long Tomorrow (Part 4)
by Leigh Brackett

COLUMNS
From the Heart's Basement
by Barry N. Malzberg
Science Column
by Gregory Benford

Book Reviews
by Bill Fawcett & Jody Lynn Nye

 

 

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Copyright © Arc Manor LLC 2016. All Rights Reserved. Galaxy's Edge is an online magazine published every two months (January, March, May, July, September, November) by Phoenix Pick, the Science Fiction and Fantasy imprint of Arc Manor Publishers.